Cancer men are deeply sensitive souls.
Their turn-offs include selfishness, lack of empathy and steamrolling them.
The thing about a Cancer man is that you might not realize you’ve turned him off until you haven’t heard from him in four whole days.
Cancers will come to a complete stop with their affection and communication if they feel you’ve done something off-putting, so you really do need to understand their quirks.
Luckily for you, I’ve put together 19 of the greatest do-not-pass-go cards on the Cancer man’s list for you to peruse.
Use this guide wisely and make sure you’re not committing these dating sins.
After you read through all of their turn-offs, be sure to read my tips on what to do if you’ve really stepped in it with a Cancer man and you want to win him back.
Cancer Man Turn-Offs
Trying to Get Into His Pants
In the beginning of dating a Cancer man, take the physical side of things nice and slow.
As much as a Cancer man wants you, if you put more effort into getting into his pants than his emotional safe space, that’s a turn-off.
He needs to trust a future sexual partner before he can take that step.
Focus on cultivating an emotional connection with him first.
Your goal should be to make him feel secure with you so that he doesn’t think you’ll up and leave after you get that one thing from him.
Read Next: How to Attract a Cancer Man
Calling Him Too Sensitive
Let me be clear: Cancers HATE being called too sensitive.
It’s probably the most insulting thing you can do.
Cancers are aware that they’re hyper emotional. No one knows better than they do how sensitive they are.
But to use that against them when they’re upset, as if their emotions are not valid or justifiable, could be grounds for a breakup.
Acting Aloof
Aloof people are unappealing to Cancers.
Sure, some part of the Cancer man will be attracted to a woman who doesn’t give him the time of day.
He can thank his self-esteem issues for that.
But he hates feeling snubbed.
So ultimately if you’re unreachable, it will force the Cancer man’s self-protectiveness into overdrive and eventually he’ll block you.
Being Rude
Whether you’re rude to him or the cashier at 7-Eleven, rudeness is a deal-breaker for Cancer men.
They’re highly empathetic individuals. They can feel the pain of others.
So seeing others being treated poorly makes them extremely uncomfortable.
If you insult the Cancer man’s friends—or worse, his family—you are getting booted from his life for sure.
Loudness and Brashness
Elegance, tact and self-awareness are the hallmarks of a woman the Cancer man is attracted to.
Being loud, cocky and crude make him flinch.
I just want to say, if you’re loud and unpolished, you don’t have to apologize to anyone.
Some of my personal favorite people are crude, lewd and full of attitude.
You just might not be a match for a Cancer man, unless he has some prominent Aries placements in his birth chart.
Lacking Compassion
As I said, Cancers are empaths and that is the reason they’re so kind and understanding.
Showing a lack of compassion for people, animals or the planet stabs them in the heart.
If you can’t give everyone a level of basic human dignity, that’s another deal-breaker for Cancers.
Acting Entitled
Entitlement is tough for Cancerians to swallow.
They believe the rules should apply to everyone equally.
Nobody is too hot, too smart or too valuable to pay their dues.
If pretty privilege gets to your head, a Cancer man is out.
Taking His Generosity for Granted
Here’s the thing. Cancer men will do anything for you.
They’ll look after you and put you first.
But only if they feel like there’s mutual respect between you.
Cancers fear being taken advantage of, hence their defensiveness.
That’s why the symbol of the Crab is so perfectly fitting for them—because without that hard outer shell, they’d be a quick, easy snack for any predator.
If the Cancer man believes you’ll chew him up and spit him out, his feelings for you will run cold.
Nonstop Negativity
This is kind of a double standard because Cancers can complain like nobody’s business.
But nonstop whining is like nails on a chalkboard for them.
Maybe it annoys them so much because it highlights their own tendency to kvetch.
(They’re not perfect and they know it.)
Don’t get me wrong, you can complain about the sucky movie you paid money to see in the theater.
He might even join you.
What I’m saying is that if you’re a bummer to be around because you always find something to be upset about, that’s emotionally exhausting for the Cancer man.
Karen Energy
If you need to speak to the manager every time you find a cold french fry on your plate, you probably don’t want to do that in front of the Cancer man.
He gets embarrassed easily and would disappear inside his hoodie.
Cancers hate seeming fussy and by extension, they need their partners to be equally easygoing.
Karen energy is inherently selfish and thoughtless, which is a huge turn-off for Cancers.
I’m going to guess that if you care about what would upset the Cancer man you’re seeing, you’re not in danger on this one.
Constantly Contradicting the Cancer Man
As we know, Cancer guys are very sensitive.
That means that they’re also extremely affected by criticism.
If you’re always negating what he says, telling him he’s wrong or making him feel like he’s not good enough, that’s a major blow to his confidence.
He yearns for someone who finds value in his ideas and respects his needs and feelings.
Lack of Boundaries
Cancers struggle with setting boundaries because they default to people-pleasing.
But they really don’t like this about themselves.
So it’s a huge deal when someone they’re dating ignores their boundaries. Because it feels like that person should know better.
Always be aware of the Cancer man’s limits and don’t try to push him past his comfort zone.
Emotional Manipulation
While a Cancer man would love to support you if you’re going through a hard time, he resists being manipulated.
If you genuinely need help, he’ll be there in a heartbeat.
But if you feign weakness or always seem to have your life in a state of shambles, the Cancer man is going to wonder why that is.
Let him help when you need it, but avoid asking him to fight your battles for you.
At some point he’s going to feel exploited.
Fakeness
Fakeness is so lame to Cancers.
They can tell when someone isn’t who they pretend to be on the outside.
Fake niceness is more offensive to them than just owning being mean.
That’s why you might see a Cancer man dating a notorious “B-I-T-C-H,” because at least she’s real and I guarantee she’s not like that with the Cancer man.
Disloyalty
Cancers demand loyalty from those they get close to.
They’re extremely loyal themselves, so they need to know you’re on their level.
Things that seem disloyal to Cancer men, whether justified or not:
- Flirting with other men
- Putting the Cancer man second to others
- Wanting an open relationship
If you find flirting with random strangers harmless or would like to date multiple people at once, the Cancer man probably isn’t for you.
Drama
If the world is a stage, the Cancer man doesn’t want the spotlight shining on him.
Should you invite drama into his life or make a spectacle of your relationship, the Cancer man will silently back away.
He likes peace and harmony.
Not a breakup and dramatic makeup every other week.
Lying and Stealing
When a Cancer man likes someone, he puts them on a pedestal, for better or worse.
He would feel let down if he saw them doing petty thievery at the Dollar Tree.
It’s not cool and daring to dine and dash.
If he hears you lying to your best friend, he’s going to assume you’ll do the same to him and stop sharing things with you.
Honesty and integrity turn a Cancer man on.
A wayward moral compass turns him off.
An Ugly/Uncomfortable Environment
A Cancer man’s environment has a huge impact on his mood.
If the pillows are fluffed and the vibe is chill, he’s going to be more comfortable.
And comfort is sexy to Crabs.
If the music is harsh and the fluorescent lights are flickering like in a horror movie, that’s not sexy to a Cancer man.
Keep this in mind when you want to invite him over for wine and cheese.
Rushing Him
Cancers are not so much slow-moving as sidewinding.
They don’t necessarily need a million years to make a move on you, but they do need to do it on their own terms.
They need to feel free to circle around you and observe you from every angle.
Try to push a Cancer man into a relationship, and he’ll clam up.
Just allow him to do his thing and let him know there’s no pressure.
Cancer Man Turn-Offs Through Text
Getting insecure about his responses is the number one way to turn a Cancer man off via text.
Many Cancer guys are pretty laidback when it comes to texting. This is often because they want to create enough space that they don’t come across as clingy.
They’ve heard this can be overwhelming for some folks!
Usually in the beginning of dating, when they’re trying to show they’re interested in you, Cancer men will try to match your texting speed and frequency.
But if the Cancer man’s replies take a while, it’s not necessarily damning.
He could be:
- Thinking about his reply first
- Getting busy at work
- Trying to focus on something he’s doing at the moment
If 20 minutes go by and you start typing, “Hellooooo? Are you OK???”
Don’t send it. Delete that text.
Cancer men like their space. They work hard to maintain their bubble where they feel free to do and act as they need.
Piercing that bubble with constant bids for reassurance drains him.
Have faith that if he texts with you consistently and puts effort into his replies, then he cares about you.
What Happens If You Accidentally Turn a Cancer Man Off?
The harsh truth is that if you’ve done something to turn a Cancer man off, he’ll go quiet on you.
He’ll back off immediately from pursuing you.
Even if he was spending every waking moment with you before, something rubbed him the wrong way and now he’s taking a sudden break.
This is not an uncommon experience with Cancer men.
Although it’s confusing as hell when it happens.
To make matters worse, Cancers hate feeling like the bad guy, so they’re probably not even going to admit what happened.
They’d prefer to ghost you than confront it (even though that’s just as hurtful?!).
On the bright side, if you’ve stumbled into treacherous territory with a Cancer man and you’re receiving the silent treatment, it doesn’t have to be forever.
Which leads me to my next point…
Is There Anything You Can Do to Win Him Over Again?
Glad you asked!
Yes, in fact, there is.
Give It Time
The most important thing you can do if you’ve offended a Cancer man or otherwise turned him off is to give him a little space.
Just for a few days to a week.
Let him have that time to feel his feelings and get them out of his system.
If you pressure him to talk or demand to know what happened, believe me, it’s going to drive him further into his shell.
Reach Out
After about a week or so, send him a friendly but sincere text or email.
Say you miss hearing from him and you have a feeling that you messed up.
This is effective because it shows care and concern for the Cancer’s perspective.
You’re not coming down on him with accusations. Nor are you putting the focus on yourself.
Quite the opposite, you’re showing self-awareness and unselfishness.
Coming from this angle gives him the motivation to talk about what happened.
Be Sincere
Just listen.
If you’re sincere and you don’t cut him off to defend yourself, you’ll be surprised at how well he responds.
Remember, Cancers are very concerned with others’ feelings.
You can easily trigger his empathy, but first you have to disarm his defenses.
If he’s upset, he’ll respond 1,000 times more favorably when he feels like you get it.
Never make a Cancer man feel bad for feeling his feelings!
If you text him, “Why haven’t I heard from you? You’re being so unfair!”
Or worse, “Why are you being such a baby?”
That shows him you believe your feelings are superior to his, and he’ll probably continue to ignore you.
Frequently Asked Questions About Cancer Men
What are turn-ons for Cancer?
The list of Cancer turn-ons include:
- Vulnerability
- Integrity
- Nurturing and being nurtured
- Feeling like you trust them with your secrets
- Knowing you better than anyone else does
- Showing care and concern for the Cancer
- Seeing you demonstrate true compassion
- Seeing you play with the dogs at the animal shelter
- A good sense of humor
Cancer man likes and dislikes in a woman
Cancer men like women who are gentle, yet strong.
They like emotional openness but not neediness.
Someone who can take care of herself, but also ask her Cancer man for help (only him though).
They dislike superficiality.
A Cancer man will avoid a woman who seems like she’s constant drama or would take him for everything he’s worth.
He’s looking to be with someone who cares about him and wouldn’t hurt him or treat him thoughtlessly.
What body type does a Cancer man like?
You’re going to get different answers to this question depending on the source.
But I’m standing strong in my opinion that Cancer men aren’t that picky when it comes to body type.
I’ve seen it again and again.
What’s in your heart is way more important than what’s on the outside to Cancers.
If you’ve got something notably feminine about your appearance, that’s a plus.
But you don’t have to have any specific proportions or assets.
Come as you are!
What to wear to attract a Cancer man
Wearing something pretty and feminine is good if you want to attract a Cancer man.
It should also be relatively modest.
Cancer men like pencil skirts that hug your body with high heels and frilly blouses.
They also like sundresses and flowy skirts.
Minimalism is better than maximalism to the Cancerian eye.
It’s also better to look approachable than to look like a supermodel.
Cancers like it when you look natural best.
Signs a Cancer man has feelings for you
If a Cancer man has feelings for you, he is NOT nonchalant.
He’ll be the sweetest, most considerate person in your life. He’ll take care of you any way that he can and do things for you without you even asking.
In terms of emotions, he’ll open up to you and show you what’s bothering him.
But he’ll also expect you to do the same.
Trust is important to Cancers, so if you feel like he trusts you, then you know you have his heart.
Read more about the Clear Signs a Cancer Man Has Feelings for You.
How does a Cancer man test you?
A Cancer man tests you by letting you in.
If you can handle the full diversity of his emotions and accept him, then you pass the test.
Depending on his age and where he’s at in life, he might ask you questions about your desire to have kids one day.
Or about your future plans in general.
This is to see if your desires match with his if he pursues a committed relationship with you.
Meeting his parents is also a test.
If you don’t mesh with the fam, you might not be the right person for him.
What makes a Cancer man angry?
Witnessing injustice done to those who have less in life makes a Cancer man angry.
He has a strong internal sense of fairness and can’t stand to see an innocent getting stepped on.
Another thing that makes him angry is when someone treats him like his feelings don’t matter.
This doesn’t necessarily have to be done intentionally.
You might unintentionally make him feel this way if you never stop to ask him what he thinks/feels and instead carry on with your own agenda.
What makes a Cancer man pull away?
Feeling manipulated is a hard stop for a Cancer man.
He will exit the bus and never return.
Feeling like you’re not serious about him will make him pull away.
He needs to know you’re all in or he’ll instinctively pull back to protect himself.
Sometimes, a Cancer man will decide that there’s something that doesn’t feel right and he needs to reconsider the relationship.
That will also make him take a sudden step back.
It may not be anything you can help—it’s just a feeling he got and he needs to go figure out before he can continue.
What makes a Cancer man chase you?
If you want a Cancer man to chase you, make it very clear to him that you’re attracted to him.
Not by throwing yourself at him.
By showing interest in his personal life and giving him your undivided attention.
Meeting a pretty lady is not enough for a Cancer man to chase her.
He needs to feel like she’s equally interested in him.
What causes a Cancer man to lose interest?
A Cancer man might lose interest if you committed one of the romantic crimes mentioned in the list of Cancer turn-offs above.
He may also lose interest if you don’t seem like you’re serious about having a future with him.
Cancers tend to date for keeps and would probably marry anyone they’re with.
Not because they’re easy, but because they only choose relationships with someone they feel marriage potential with.
What is a Cancer man’s weakness in love?
A weakness of the Cancer man in love is his tendency to be extreme.
When he falls in love, he wants all of you, all the time, immediately.
But when you hit a bump in the road, he can take a hard turn and start questioning things.
Cancers are highly reactive, which can make a relationship with them rocky.
No wonder you need to be sensitive and in tune with his emotions.
Also, try not to take things too personally as Cancer moods are changeable.
Do Cancer men fall in love fast?
Yes, Cancer men do tend to fall in love fast.
But they might not feel really secure for a while.
Being in love with someone opens the door to getting hurt.
So if a Cancer man falls head over heels in love quicker than he can really get to know someone, he won’t be fully trusting of it.
On the other hand, there are plenty of Cancer men in happy, stable, long-lasting relationships where it was a whirlwind from the start.
How to uplift a Cancer man?
Doing something ridiculously thoughtful will uplift a sad Cancer man’s spirits.
But avoid asking him what you can do for him, because he probably won’t want to burden you.
You just have to go and do it. Like hand-delivering lunch to him.
Alternatively, if you think something is weighing on his conscience, you could take him to a quiet, intimate spot with just the two of you and ask him what’s wrong.
If he doesn’t want to talk about it, you could just cuddle with him and stroke his hair.
Cancer men love being babied and fawned over.
I'm a professional astrologer and psychology enthusiast. I offer lots of free relationship advice and astrology dating tips as well as private consultations at decodethezodiac.com.