If you’re in a relationship with an Aries man, you need to know what you’re up against—the good, the bad and the ugly.
This article is about the bad and the ugly.
We’re going to get into the Aries man’s negative traits that you should be aware of, as well as some red flags that might signal something deeper going on that needs to be addressed.
To sum it up, here’s the dark side of the Aries man in a relationship:
- He falls out of love just as quickly as he falls in
- He can get mad at the drop of a hat
- He’s defensive and argumentative
- His self-centered nature leaves little room for compromise
- He acts impulsively, sometimes threatening stability within the relationship
- His belief that he’s always right gets pretty annoying
- His apologies suck
- He can be wildly insensitive
- Living with him might mean living with a bunch of half-done projects
- His risk-taking tendencies can cause tension in his relationship, especially if his partner is risk-averse
We all have our flaws.
Awareness of our partners’ flaws (as well as our own) is the first step towards giving each other grace.
If you know what to expect with an Aries man, you’ll be better able to navigate your relationship and keep it healthy and fulfilling for both of you.
The Dark Side of Aries Man in a Relationship: 10 Negative Traits to Be Aware Of
The dark side of the Aries man is impulsive, aggressive, quick to anger and frustratingly egocentric.
His overconfidence and insistence on his own way and his own judgments can be stifling to his partner, making him seem arrogant and uncaring.
Below is a list of 10 Aries traits that are most likely to cause problems for their partners and relationships.
He Falls in and Out of Love Quickly
Aries men might accidentally lovebomb you if they’re really into you.
They’re intense, passionate and uninhibited, which allows them to follow their hearts and fall head over heels for someone at almost the moment they meet them.
Sometimes it works out for an Aries man and his partner if they’re well-matched.
But due to the rapid nature of Aries energy, an Aries man can fall out of love just as quickly.
The intensity of the fire that burns in him is so much that it can exhaust itself quickly and extinguish without constant fuel added to it.
Which is why Aries men need so much stimulation and excitement in their relationships.
They can’t be with a partner who is restrained and slow-paced.
If an Aries man’s partner is not delivering nonstop thrills and romance, boredom sets in and the Aries man is gone.
Read Next: 15 Signs an Aries Man Is Not Interested Anymore
Anger
Aries folks feel their anger quickly and readily.
They aren’t “angry” people per se, but they get stereotyped this way because their reactions are sudden and filterless.
Their anger erupts with none of the slow buildup that you get with signs like Taurus, and zero attempts at diplomacy the way Libra handles it.
It’s the first emotion Aries people tend to express, even if they’re sad, embarrassed or otherwise feeling not so great.
It’ll catch you off guard, but it’s usually short-lived.
The release is so cathartic that they’re able to completely let go of whatever was bothering them, like the sky clearing after a thunderstorm.
Which is a strength of this fire sign.
What becomes problematic is the impulsiveness of their reactions.
Their anger is like a wildfire, unpredictable and near impossible to contain.
And destructive.
When the Aries man is angry, he shouts.
And swears.
He may throw things and slam doors like a petulant child.
His blunt way of speaking will hurt feelings. If he’s mad enough, this may even be his aim.
Without some balancing elements in his birth chart, an Aries man may have a particularly difficult time avoiding an overreaction.
He does well with a partner who’s good at diffusing a tense atmosphere.
When he has a partner who, like him, doesn’t back down, the Ram charges.
Often Aries men regret their immediate reactions afterwards, especially if they’ve said something they can’t take back.
They know how much damage it can do to their relationships.
He’s Super Defensive
An Aries man will confront you when he has a problem.
But somehow he’s terrible at actually dealing with the issues he wanted to confront you about.
This is because, naturally, his partner is going to have their own perspective on what the problem is that runs contrary to the Aries man’s.
If he starts to feel blamed, accused or attacked, he immediately gets defensive and combative.
And while getting defensive is not a trait exclusive to Aries, it can be tough with them because so many little things can make them feel attacked.
Aries is a soldier, always prepared for battle.
Always with his feelers out to sense and defend against an oncoming attack.
This makes him reactive to what he perceives as even slight criticisms.
It’s not that he’s looking for some malicious subtext in what his partner is saying.
It’s more that he’s always trying to protect himself, his autonomy and his sense of self.
In the moment he may sometimes forget that his partner is actually on his team and end up treating them like the enemy.
Selfishness
The first sign of the zodiac, Aries is number one.
Aries was not born into existence with siblings like the rest of the zodiac signs.
Aries came first, and thus, Aries is inherently selfish.
Selfish in the sense that Aries is concerned with matters of its own being and existence.
Aries is self, archetypically.
The sign of the Ram represents the first breath of the individual, the dawning of self-awareness.
As such, being born an Aries means going through life exploring and manifesting the essence of individuality.
Of singularity. Of ego.
Aries looks out for number one because that’s what Aries knows. And for the most part, this serves the Aries man well in many areas of his life.
In relationships, however, it can be a source of weakness.
Aries struggles to learn how much stronger two can be working together than alone.
He may view compromising as crippling, like working with one hand tied behind his back.
Without learning the value of partnership, the Aires man will think and behave like a loner, even in a relationship.
He acts based on what’s good for him and excuses it by saying that this is what his partner should do, too.
He believes two individuals should be free, even within the context of a relationship.
But he actually fears the idea of merging.
If, for example, his long-term partner or spouse were to get a job offer that would mean relocating, the Aries man would not agree unless he could arrange it to be on his terms, and of direct benefit to him.
And even then he would not like feeling like he was being forced into something and might say no on this basis alone.
The problem is, relationships sometimes require self-sacrifice.
The dark side of Aries is not being willing to bend or compromise so that his partner has no choice but to sacrifice in order to be with him, or let him go.
Impatience and Impulsivity
Aries doesn’t know what patience is.
Like little kids, Aries men want what they want right away.
And if they can’t have it, they will throw a fit, or walk away telling themselves they’re better off without it.
Where relationships are concerned, this Aries trait can really burn the Aries man—and his partner—by depriving them of opportunities if they don’t materialize straight away.
Let me give you an example of someone I know with an Aries Moon—which is essentially the internalization of Aries personality traits.
This Aries Moon person was in a long-term, committed relationship, and very happy in it—but they wanted to marry their partner.
So they got engaged. But the Aries Moon’s partner was hesitant to set a date.
Offended, the Aries Moon ended the relationship, convinced their fiance wasn’t serious enough.
Now, it’s not like this destroyed the Aries Moon’s life. They moved on.
But the reality is, they would never know what could have been if they’d stuck it out.
Now I want to be clear that I’m not judging—the point of this anecdote is to highlight this impulsive nature of Aries energy, especially when it’s manifesting in a close, personal planet like the Sun or Moon.
It can be a great thing in terms of giving a relationship spontaneity.
But it can also come back to bite them if they allow snap judgments to rule their decision-making.
He Has Trouble Listening to His Partner
An Aries man believes he has the best way of doing things.
He has the cleverest shortcuts, the fastest driving routes, the most correct answers.
According to him, that is.
An Aries man doesn’t want to accept someone else’s methods and suggestions, because why would he when they’re so clearly inferior?
To say the least, this mentality can halt projects, make planning difficult and stifle anything he and his partner are supposed to be working on together.
He expects his partner to agree with him because he believes that would prove they’re on his side.
And he will argue his point until the cows come home.
His reluctance to listen to his partner’s advice and accept their wisdom comes across as arrogance and maybe even a little bit of intellectual superiority.
For Aries, growth comes from learning how to follow his own voice without drowning out the voices of others.
He’s Terrible at Apologizing
If you’ve fought with an Aries man before, I’m sure you’ve experienced this—the dragging of feet on giving you an apology afterwards.
Apologizing would mean admitting he wasn’t 100% in the right.
And for an Aries, admitting to being wrong is about as easy as cutting off his right arm.
If an apology comes, it’s usually in a low, disgruntled tone or given alongside a list of justifications for why he did what he did.
And hey, he wasn’t alone in the argument, so doesn’t he get an apology, too?
This is basically what an Aries man will expect.
Which kind of diminishes the apology.
It’s like if they’re going to apologize, then they at least need to feel on equal footing.
They cannot feel lower than you.
Which they will because apologizing feels like a loss of autonomy for Aries men.
This is true even when they’re apologizing to a spouse, partner or loved one.
Apologies from an Aries man might be rare or very superficial, as if said just to get it out of the way and move on.
It’s frequently not a satisfying experience to the Aries man’s significant other, which can leave some lingering resentments.
Insensitivity
Aries men don’t mean to, but they wind up seeming heartless sometimes to their partners.
Their tell-it-like-it-is attitude lacks tact and can push away their loved ones.
When they love you, they care deeply about you and usually don’t intend to hurt your feelings.
It’s just that they sometimes can’t really understand them.
If an Aries man upsets his partner but he doesn’t view their reaction as rational or appropriate, he will struggle to empathize.
And because he gets over things so quickly, he might have moved past an argument or emotional upset that his partner hasn’t yet, making him appear unconcerned and unfeeling.
To the Aries man, it’s difficult to be any other way.
He’ll try his best if he loves you.
But there’s a certain amount of acceptance you’ll have to have, knowing that his heart is in the right place even if he fails at showing it at times.
He Doesn’t See Things Through to the End
With cardinal signs like Aries, starting projects is easy.
That’s what cardinal signs do.
They get great ideas and fly into action in order to bring them into fruition.
Unfortunately, that’s where it ends for Aries.
As husbands and long-term partners, Aries men tend to leave partial projects around the house, which may drive their significant others crazy.
Aries is motivated by instant gratification, which life almost never guarantees.
He might start new businesses and side hustles, only to abandon them shortly afterwards because they weren’t matching his idea of success fast enough.
Or he simply gets bored with them.
That’s a common theme with Aries.
Either way, this can be infuriating for an Aries man’s spouse to watch, knowing they have no control over what the Aries man decides to do (or end) on a whim.
Engaging in Risky Business
No risk, no reward—words to live by, if you’re an Aries.
If you’re an Aries man’s spouse, yours are probably more along the lines of, “Try looking before you leap once in a while, Aries.”
Risk-taking makes life more exciting for an Aries man, but it obviously also makes it more uncertain.
Stability is important in relationships, which is why this Aries trait is antithetical to being in a relationship.
For instance, an Aries male might jump on stock trading after hearing about how well it went for a friend of his, feeling pretty confident that his luck and intelligence will reward him.
Positive thinking is one thing, but overestimating his abilities can sometimes get this man into trouble.
He sometimes fails to calculate the true risks.
Yes he may win, but he also may lose a lot in a short amount of time.
Which is one thing if he’s single. It’s entirely another thing if he’s in a relationship with someone who is directly affected by his actions.
If his partner isn’t the type to leave things to chance, they may not feel very secure in a long-term relationship with an Aries.
Red Flags
Some things are beyond troublesome traits.
The following red flags often indicate problems that have sources in the Aries man’s life—they’re not just part of the stereotypical Aries personality.
If you see them in your relationship with an Aries man, then it might be time to look deeper into what’s going on.
Power Struggles
We all know Aries men don’t like being told what to do, and they can steamroll others.
Aries needs his sense of control over his life to remain intact in a relationship.
However, his need for self-governance should not turn into constant power struggles with his partner.
If the Aries man you’re dating or married to is vetoing all of your decisions and leaving no room for you to express your own needs, this is a toxic situation.
Excessive Irritability
Childish fits are one thing, but raging over everything with a hair trigger is a red flag for Aries.
Aries guys are actually pretty chill most of the time.
They are not “angry dudes” who spend most of their time fuming over things and being negative.
If you have to walk on eggshells around the Aries man, don’t take that as normal.
Something may be going on with him in his personal life, or he may have some deeper issues he’ll need to confront.
Grudge Holding
It’s also not a typical thing for Aries to hold grudges.
It’s more likely for an Aries to forgive, but not forget.
If an Aries man is holding grudges against you for what seems like every little mistake, no matter how small, then he needs to take a good, hard look at why.
This might be behavior that comes from him feeling taken advantage of, and usually it means the Aries is planning to end the relationship soon.
It’s best to address it head-on and try to find out what’s going on.
Frequently Asked Questions
What are Aries afraid of in a relationship?
When they get into relationships, Aries people are afraid of losing their autonomy.
They don’t like the idea of merging in coupledom and need to maintain their sense of individuality.
This is why they often seem so stubborn and need a lot of space.
If an Aries feels like they’re being limited in their relationship, they’ll choose to end it or take (sometimes extreme) action to reassert their separateness from their partner.
What makes an Aries man ignore you?
Simply put, an Aries man will ignore you if he doesn’t like you.
If you seem too negative a person or if you irritate him, he’ll avoid you so that you don’t kill his vibe.
He simply won’t pay any attention to you.
Another reason an Aries man would ignore you is that he’s upset with you.
Getting mad is the first Aries response to being hurt.
Then it’s ignoring you, if the damage is severe enough that he’s struggling to brush it off like he usually would.
Recommended Reading: 20 Key Signs an Aries Man Is Using You
How do you control an Aries man’s anger?
You don’t.
It’s not your job, for one thing. Aries anger is a personal evolution.
It’s up to the Aries person to harness the intensity they feel inside and use it for something productive, like defending others from bullying and exploitation.
However, if you want to know how to help diffuse a situation where an Aries man might explode, then the answer is giving him space.
Back off quickly if he starts to show signs of frustration and revisit whatever it is you’re talking about later when the mood is calmer and you can approach it neutrally.
What is Aries’ biggest flaw?
An Aries person’s answer to this question might be different from a non-Aries person’s answer.
Aries people perceive themselves in a very different light than others do and are usually much more forgiving of their own flaws.
What else would you expect from a sign that’s here on this earth to love and be themselves?
That aside, I would say that the greatest flaw in Aries is their difficulty seeing other people’s perspectives.
Traits like being restless and taking risks can sometimes benefit them.
But not being able to see from the points of view of those on their side weighs on their relationships and doesn’t really get better until the Aries person chooses to work on it.
What is an Aries man’s weakness in love?
The Aries man’s weakness in love is his impulsivity.
Aries is impatient and will rush towards a relationship at light speed if he’s falling in love.
But this can cause problems for him, and he might find himself getting in too deep when he’s not really ready.
Why do Aries struggle with love?
I wouldn’t say that Aries struggles with love more than other signs, but the main struggle for Aries seems to be feeling like they can’t find someone who gets them.
They don’t want to compromise on what they want in life, and they don’t have a lot of tolerance for other people’s flaws.
So they can have a hard time finding a partner who meets their expectations and might write off relationships entirely after having a few bad ones in a row.
What breaks an Aries man’s heart?
Not being there for him.
When an Aries man loves you, he puts his whole heart and soul into loving and supporting you.
He has your back no matter what, and he believes you have his.
Aries is a fighter, and he’ll fight for your relationship. It’s you two against the world, in the trenches together.
But if you’re not as dedicated as he is, if you wouldn’t fight for your relationship or if you do something that shows you don’t 100% have his back, it can be pretty heartbreaking for him to realize.
Do Aries go back to their exes?
Not usually, but it’s not totally unheard of.
There has to be something worth fighting for to the Aries.
If it was a casual relationship or the Aries person didn’t think it could be “it” for life, then they probably won’t mess around with an ex ever again.
They figure there was a reason for the breakup and they aren’t interested in drumming up the past.
However, a particularly significant relationship with unfinished business may tempt them if they believe it has a chance.
What makes an Aries man miss you?
Of all the zodiac signs, Aries is probably one of the hardest to get to miss you.
An Aries man needs to have a soft spot for you in order to miss you.
If you think that’s the case, then show him genuine care and concern.
Be real when you reach out to him, but don’t put any emotional pressure on him.
Just message him to let him know you were thinking about him and that you genuinely hope he’s doing well.
If he responds, then that’s your signal to continue.
Give him your listening ear, show him support for what he’s got going on in his life and be a force of shining positivity for him.
He’ll think that’s very cool of you and it will tempt him to talk to you more.
And the more he wants to talk to you, the more attached he’ll become.
I'm a professional astrologer and psychology enthusiast. I offer lots of free relationship advice and astrology dating tips as well as private consultations at decodethezodiac.com.